For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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