i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
