I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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