What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I see more hoeing in ur future
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