i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
