I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
