she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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