New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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