i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
