What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
