The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
