there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
