You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
