And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
