he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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