this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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