walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
