i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize