tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
