I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize