Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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