I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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