is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
