you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
