Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
