i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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