At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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