..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
