even my farts smell like vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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