So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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