I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
