My brain says no but my pants say off.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
