I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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