the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
