I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
