What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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