chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I made him laugh his dick is mine