I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!