haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine