Texts From Last Night

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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa

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  (848): I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa http://tfl.nu/605l
  Replies (152) Good night (5939) Bad night (57586)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

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  (612): I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out. http://tfl.nu/8phs
  Replies (56) Good night (942) Bad night (13987)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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  (617): Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads http://tfl.nu/gove
  Replies (41) Good night (11799) Bad night (1026)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.

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  (808): I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends. http://tfl.nu/mxrh
  Replies (20) Good night (4591) Bad night (571)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  eww mummy girl is here...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.

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  (708): eww mummy girl is here... (931): what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals. http://tfl.nu/7ng0
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (3943)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.

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  (803): He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing. http://tfl.nu/hr4b
  Replies (17) Good night (4275) Bad night (1956)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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  (847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53
  Replies (7) Good night (2009) Bad night (1218)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.

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  (314): I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume. http://tfl.nu/mjn1
  Replies (11) Good night (1464) Bad night (521)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (1065)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish I could just hang out in ERs.

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  (503): I wish I could just hang out in ERs. http://tfl.nu/ev60
  Replies (9) Good night (482) Bad night (864)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry

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  (715): Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry http://tfl.nu/21br
  Replies (8) Good night (662) Bad night (1205)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

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  (609): Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/bphq
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (494)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.

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  (860): Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/qj0b
  Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (256)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.

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  (410): Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you. http://tfl.nu/34nw
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (265)
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  (212): View more from New York

  My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.

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  (212): My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon. http://tfl.nu/pnvy
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (223)

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