I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize