Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
