i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
