On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
