Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
