So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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