I puked a lego.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
