I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
