Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
