i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
