its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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