yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
