I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
