It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
love makes seman taste better
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
