If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
