my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
