I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
