we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize