I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize