I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
