Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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