I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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