I don't usually arrange sex via text message
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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