kristin has been a bad kristin
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
