I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
